Mushroom Prints

Because sometimes, they just deserve it

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If You “Could Have Gotten It,” WHY DIDN’T YOU?!

Dear Para-educator who got stuck with drop off duty,

First of all, I’m sorry you got stuck with the worst of the morning duties. Really, I am. Being a para-educator isn’t easy, especially in a district like ours. You know, where you guys are stuck doing all the things that the teachers really don’t want to do. So I get that you’re probably a little bitter.

I’m a little bitter too, to be honest. I’m pretty sure that I’m driving the only mini-van that DOESN’T have automatic doors. At least around here. That means, unless you help me, I have to hop out of the car to let me kids out. Which holds up the drop off line, even though I jog and only give them quick hugs. Now you’ve seen me go through this several times in the past week, and yet you never help me. You stand and chit chat with people in sedans, or just plain stand around.

(Source: mushroomprinting.com)

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Filed under teacher slap school school drop off

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Baby-Sitting

Picture this: You come home to find your children’s lunch congealed on the dining room table. Their toys, along with a few paper towels, are strewn across the play room and living room. The person who has spent the afternoon with your children complains loudly about his/her exhaustion and the children’s bad behavior. Would you ever hire this babysitter again?

No, of course not. But if the person is the child’s parent, then days like this happen sometimes. Right? You’d get over it, maybe even help clean up the various messes. You’d commiserate over temper tantrums and the exclamations of, “NO! I DO IT MYSELF!”

Yet, when I mentioned to several people last weekend that Hubby was with the children, they cried, “It’s so great that he baby-sits!”

(Source: mushroomprinting.com)

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Filed under parenting baby-sitting

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I’m Going Straight To Hell

Yesterday some young Mormons knocked on my door. Two young men, slightly sweaty in their pants and ties, were looking so earnestly at the door that I opened it. I was polite and chatty with them, because after an ill-fated attempt in door-to-door environmental donations ( I lasted three days), I have sympathy for anyone going door-to-door.

But naturally they took my mention of Mormon friends and questions about where they were from (Utah and Texas) as a sign that I was looking to be converted. And we all know that’s never going to happen.

But instead of explaining that I’m an Unitarian (home of what Hot Guy calls “cover-your-ass Christianity”, or even just turning them down flat, I told them that I was a pagan. And I enjoyed the  shocked looks on the young men’s faces as they realized the nicest woman they’d met all day was a complete heathen. I lied and I liked it.

(Source: mushroomprinting.com)

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Filed under Mormons annoying door to door